That one friend…
Once upon a warm fall evening, while I struggled, scarce believing
The claims of patented inventions, filed a year before
With scopes that each had far exceeded that which applicant had pleaded
Comprised the heart that they’d created, in their arguments galore
‘I would reject these,’ I muttered, where others had allowed galore
‘Narrower, and nothing more.’
Breaking my internal whining, I heard a sound, a distant siren,
An incessant interruption of my introspective chore
But of course my phone was hidden, lost within my desktop midden
And though the sound was yet unbidden, frantic did I search among decor
Finally, I find the thing, once lost among decor
‘Hello?’ said I, then muted, swore.
‘I just called to say I hate you and to verbally berate you,’
His voice enthusiastic with an eagerness I abhor.
‘I’ve had a chance to read your writing and it isn’t that exciting
But your words, clearly inciting, brought the voters to the floor
I can’t boot you when your scribing brought the voters to the floor
So, how ya doing, you old poseur?’
Knowing he would soon be jerking my chain though I should be working
I responded, a tad uncertain, ‘I’m well enough for more.’
Pressing buttons, feeling chic’er, ‘Yeah, I’m putting you on speaker,’
And soon the little geeker’s voice did voluminously soar.
In my tiny office, the little sneaker’s voice did voluminously soar.
Sarcastic me, ‘I got votes galore.’
‘We both know that you’d retrieve the kinds of votes you should receive
If you practiced writing, weaving, rhymes that didn’t bore.’
‘So helpful.’ I was then responding to sentiments still corresponding
To a friendship far beyond so many digs of yore
Yes, a friendship that knew many little digs of yore
Missing this, ‘There’s something more...’
‘You should know this week’s approach will be one that dares encroach
‘A subject scarce above reproach, knowing now the score
‘Give me time, I’ll have ‘em smiling with dopey rhymes that I’m compiling
‘About this one guy still beguiling, though he’s often thought folklore
‘Few realize you're really real, and aren't just folklore.
‘I’m writing truth, and nothing more.’
‘Then, I look forward to announcing...’, I could hear his voice still bouncing,
‘Your impending total trouncing by the other writers, yes, the Idol corps.
‘But in case the voters like you, and they fail to uninvite you
‘From participating despite you being such a snore
‘Would you please, for me, just try to cease being such a snore.’‘No, I’ll probably be even more.’
(This is totally not based on real events - honest!)